I’m Right Here. finding comfort in uncertainty.

Don’t you love it when God stirs up memories of His faithfulness to get you through your present storms? Recently God stirred up a memory for me that I need to constantly be reminded of. His presence, although not seen, is never departed from us. Even in our darkest, most lonely hours, He is right here.

We had been home from the hospital for several weeks, and I was slowly starting to get Kate used to her crib. She was a super stubborn baby and hated to be left alone or put down for any reason whatsoever. Being a first time mom, I was totally content constantly holding her. If she cried for any reason, I would immediately scoop her up and revel in the fact that I was her mom and had the power to soothe her. That sense of responsibility and someone needing me was just the most special feeling in the world. I never wanted her to feel like I wasn’t there for her.

But you know - parenting is tricky like that, and what feels good may not always be what’s best. So, one day I mustered the confidence to let sweet Kate cry it out for a little bit. (Now, some of you may be like my little sister and have zero problem letting your babies cry, but I am a total wuss in this department, so bear with me!)

I laid her down in what was arguably the most incredibly cozy crib ever, turned on a soft noise machine, kissed her and turned around to leave. It took about 1 minute for that tiny human to start wailing, just begging me to turn around and scoop her back up! But, I was determined. Even though her pitiful screams were totally breaking my heart, I knew I had to give this a shot.

I crouched on the ground and crawled over to her crib. As I sat on the floor where she couldn’t see me, I started to cry with her. It hurt my mama heart that she was so upset and scared and basically not getting her way. I began to pray that God would just calm her little body and give her the supernatural comfort that she needed to be still. I prayed and prayed, and then I would whisper just out of earshot, “You’re ok baby. I’m right here, baby girl. I’m right here.” 

As I said the words, God reminded me of how much He could relate to my heart. He is never away from us. He loves us more than we love our own babies, and He hurts when we hurt. When we are hurting or scared, when we aren’t getting our own way and things aren’t going according to our plan, He is still right here.

I was teaching Kate - training her to trust that I was close, even though I couldn’t be seen. It was an important lesson for her to learn to fall asleep on her own, and even though it hurt me to watch her get so upset, I knew she was ok. I knew that in the long run, it would only make her stronger.

Just the same, God sees us hurting, struggling, and He doesn’t always drop everything and run to our rescue the second we start screaming. He knows when we are ok and when we’re not. When it’s beneficial, He lets us tough it out because he’s training us and honing us. But this doesn’t mean He has left us there to suffer. It doesn’t mean that our prayers won’t get answered, and it certainly doesn’t mean He has forgotten about us. 

In the Book of Joshua, God asked Joshua to step into Moses’s position to lead the Israelites into the promised land. Joshua was clearly nervous because he wasn’t sure he could live up to what Moses had done. God tells him that the people need a leader - Moses had died, and He needed Joshua to do it - and then He leaves. He just leaves him! However, before God leaves Joshua alone to lead the people, He gives him very specific instructions. He tells Joshua to listen to the teachings he has given him, to obey what Moses had taught him, and to “keep the Book of the Law always on your lips”. He then goes on to tell Joshua this very famous scripture:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9

Bottom line is this. We live in a fallen world. A world constantly manipulated by the prince of darkness- one that is getting increasingly more difficult to tolerate and be a part of. Being in public education, I see the accountability, responsibility, and compassion just withering away slowly in the actions of the children we serve. It’s frustrating, it’s daunting, and it’s draining.

We all face trials in our personal lives, we all deal with challenges, we all get scared. We will be tested, and we will have to wait for our prayers to be answered. Like Joshua, God has also given us specific instructions. It’s up to us whether or not we can muster up the strength and courage to persevere and follow them.

But no matter what we face or are feeling, God will NEVER leave us. Regardless of how we act, or what we do, or where we are in life, He has PROMISED that He will never leave. While He won’t always pluck us from our situations or the consequences of our actions, He is still with us and He knows that we’re ok. He is sitting there, on the floor WITH us, and He’s crying WITH us and He’s whispering, “You’re ok. I’m right here, baby girl. I’m right here.”